I clipped the hyacinths this morning not knowing they were frozen until I tried to smell them. Their intense purpley-blue buds were scentless. It may be Spring but I came inside to find the thermometer read 23 degrees.
It is cold outside.
It is cold inside.
This winter more than years prior I have been chilled to the bone, chilled to the bone a lot. Last night I lay in bed and said aloud, "I may have to move."
The cold inside and out not only permeates my bones. At times it seeps into my heart. Although I care, I do not care. It is hard to live in this world of such beauty, a world I came here to love so, yet a world in which I experience such heart break.
Yesterday my heart break was related to learning vultures in Middle TN are attacking cows, live cows and calves in farmer's fields because there is not enough roadkill to sustain them. Vultures to me are beautiful and I love cows. Yet my heart is broken more by people and politics than vultures attacking cows.
I sat on the sofa this morning and wept. A backed up river of tears came pouring out of me. Some small portion of this sadness was even related I suspect to my negligence in letting the hyacinths freeze. Why did I not think to cut them a day earlier?The river slowed and I picked up the vase again. I picked up the vase to find the hyacinth scent had returned with the thaw.
I kept my nose buried in that simple purple bouquet as ribbons of sweetness found their way within, wrapping themselves around my heart.I could not put the hyacinths down. Thawing hyacinths emitting sweetness are like thawing hearts doing the same.
Hyacinths hold a healing power. Hearts hold a feeling power.
This is my homeopathy, coming upon things in Nature that return me to me. When I can't imagine the Shift, Nature quietly, subtly, gently creates it.
May frozen hearts around the world experience the sweet smells that allow them to thaw.
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