Folks wrote of how they experienced light through an 'unwanted' cat that became a companion, learning how to grieve, calling up courage to proceed with a divorce, a heron and hiking, a cave in Crete, an unexpected encounter with a mesmerizing nurse and the gift of life through a sibling.
The day after Solstice as the light gradually began to return, "Judge Judy" (my dear non-judging seventy-something neighbor) read the entries. I received an unexpected gift just listening to Judy's sounds and comments as she read. (Things like: "Now, Dawn, I've got goosebumps all over. This just gives me chills.")
As for the winning entry, Judy chose Ricki Baer's story of finding light and powerful truths through kidney failure. I hope you'll take a moment to read below of Ricki's experience. And again thank you each for reflecting on light and Being A Light !!
"Days were darkest during my late twenties, when my health was failing. My kidneys were shutting down, no longer able to filter through my body's unwanted materials. Not only did kidneys slow, but not being properly cleaned, other organs did as well. That included my brain as my thoughts came more slowy. But amazingly, as this slowing process took place, my perception of life was growing. No longer distracted by endless activities and inner and outer chatter, and losing any conscious sense of control, communion with not only the world, but the moments grew. The awareness that it was not "I' who was breathing; rather, my body was being breathed by something larger than my personality. It was awsome to recognize this, and it delivered a great sense of security. It actually felt like a larger of myself was handling things.
I had months to exist in this reality. The world grew dark and far away. Then one day my sister came to me and said that not only did she want to give me her kidney, but that hers was a perfect match! I really couldn't believe it! My sweet sister, who was married and had two boys, told me that she did not want any more children, but she DID want to give ME life and that I must never worry or feel indebted. This was something she wanted with all her heart. Though incredibly excited about the prospect of returning vitality, I now wondered what this larger aspect of myself would do. I tried to trust that what was supposed to happen, would...there wasn't energy for much else.
On the day of our transplant, our family gathered round. Mom had dressed us in matching gowns, it was very special. I don't remember much except the blast off! Being rolled down the hall together, holding hands ... not knowing if I'd wake up afterward or not! Well, the doctors said that our match was truly miraculous, for the minute our tissues touched, blood flowed powerfully ... and that wasn't all!
Afterward, I awakened, gradually realizing that my bed was beside a window. When I looked out, though a tree was in front of my eyes. It was hard to recognize its form because of all the colors running up and down the bark ... amazing colors everywhere. In fact, it was hard to discern the physical form of anything, but beautiful colors were pulsating, flowing in and through all things and creatures. Gradually this perception faded, but it left an awareness that our world is alive, every inch of it ... and it's all one fabric. Not only did my sister grant me the opportunity for a renewed life, but also the opportunity to recognize the fact that we are all one, living, breathing, pulsating together. This recognition has left me only momentarily ... and actually, too often. But my commitment is to embrace and share this gift."
So be it!
-Ricki & Dawn, The Good News Muses 26 December 2011
1 comment:
What an amazing story! Thank you so much, Dawn, for calling these stories forth. Life and the human experience of life are such a mystery. Blessings, Miriam
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