A Do-Over for Dawn

Sunday I reconnected with a friend by phone and came up with a plan for meeting this week before she returned to her teaching job out-of-state. Somehow our conversation turned to spiders and how neighbors suggested she kill the grandaddy long legs that call her garage home. She didn't see the need to harm them and added she grew up with a father who transported bugs from his home, alive rather than dead. I was on the other end of the phone smiling hugely and thinking 'This is another reason I like this person.' I told her of the bug jars I keep around the house for escorting spiders and bugs outside alive and I mentioned the story I had just read on the benefits of spiders.

We made a date for the week ahead and I got on with my chores only to discover I needed to go to the store. I avoid as much as possible big box, corporately owned stores but on a rural Sunday afternoon, a big box store was my only option.

This particular store was obviously where I was suppose to be because as I stood in the check-out line the checker a young man of twenty at the most scratched at the back of his shirt then around the neckline. I noticed from my position in line and wondered what he was doing. I feared I knew when he looked down, stepped left then twisted his leg several times. I internally cringed when he looked at the woman he was checking out and said, "I hate spiders."

He was one of the many of whom I had just told my friend I have a hard time.

My turn came and I was still shocked, sad and judging. I didn't know what to say or whether to say anything. I was mindful of not wanting to say something to cause this gentle soul of a country kid to feel embarrassment or shame and even more so with other customers in line.

I walked from the store curious as to the synchronicity and mindful that anything I might have said would have been backed by my agenda of changing him rather than being open to him.

This interaction hung out with me into the next day when I was to have a new washer and dryer delivered. Of course, one of them, and secretly possibly both, was afraid of spiders.

I didn't know this until I was in my basement, the hole as they called it, and one commented on a grandaddy long legs to the other then turned to me and said, "He's afraid of spiders." (Knowing how projection works the speaker may have been the one most frightened.)

I wasted no time and jumped in non-judgmentally and said, "Please don't kill my spiders. I'll move the cobwebs and them if they're in your way. Most spiders are actually beneficial and people just don't realize it."

I bombarded these two with information that was personal and factual and I did so without judging or shaming them. Actually I was laughingly, loving, kindly pleading with them. I received a beautiful do-over in exactly 24 hours.

These young men left and I considered my challenge in speaking with someone with whom I disagree without even the essence of judgment, control, shame or fear coming from me. Talking with these two young men was easy and would have probably been easier if it had only been one of them and not a situation in which one was making fun of the other.

After we parted I looked into the symbolism of grandaddy long legs. My interactions around this particular spider was even more perfect as grandaddy long legs represents "weaving deeper relationships." Navigating relationships in light of differences allows for a deepening especially when we do so lite-ly, loving lyand when appropriate with laughter, not at the other, but at oneself. We've the opportunity for more deeply knowing ourself as well as another.

This series of synchronicities reminds me grace-filled do-overs arrive daily through those we know and don't know, through our responses to news, nature, and the things that annoy. Are you open to them? Are you paying attention? Imagine leaning into that Shift.

Here's another story inspired by Spider and a Vision: Willing Weavers 

-Dawn, The Good News Muse 1 August 2015

dawn@imaginetheshift.com

For those open to spider's benefits this comes from Bayer (one maker of pest control products). Even they are thinking of spiders positively...and of course still selling pesticides.

3 Ways Spiders Help Indoors

1. Spiders eat pests. Spiders feed on common indoor pests, such as roaches, earwigs, mosquitoes, flies and clothes moths. If left alone, spiders will consume most of the insects in your home, providing effective home pest control.

2. Spiders kill other spiders. When spiders come into contact with one another, a gladiator-like competition frequently unfolds – and the winner eats the loser. If your basement hosts common long-legged cellar spiders, this is why the population occasionally shifts from numerous smaller spiders to fewer, larger spiders. That long-legged cellar spider, by the way, is known to kill black widow spiders, making it a powerful ally.

3. Spiders help curtail disease spread. Spiders feast on many household pests that can transmit disease to humans –mosquitoes, fleas, flies, cockroaches and a host of other disease-carrying critters.

And from www.spiders.us:
Spiders help to keep your home, yard, garden, farm, school, and workplace free from pest insects. Spiders help the whole planet in a similar way, preventing insects from becoming overly dominant and destructive. Spiders are in turn food for other organisms, from other spiders to birds, reptiles, and small mammals like shrews. Spider venoms show promise in the field of medicine. Spider silk is among the strongest, most elastic of natural fibers. Synthesized spider silk has proven useful in creating the next generation of parachutes and bullet-proof vests. Native peoples in Papua New Guinea even use the webs of Nephila orb-weaving spiders as fishing nets. The spider is coaxed into spinning within an oval frame that is then used as a net. Spiders are also used as research subjects in such diverse disciplines as animal physiology and psychology.