"Joy?" you ask.
Yes, joy in going to the orthodontist and it's not because she has a masseuse or babbling brook with which to distract me. I was reminded of how I felt similarly in relation to a surgeon and his staff two years ago.
Knowing my history this might make even less sense. As a child I dreaded doctors and shots. With my mother as my witness, I cried even into my double digits when given a shot and I had lots of steroid shots for poison ivy as a kid. I cried so around first grade after learning I was to have a tonsillectomy, that my parents cancelled the procedure. Then as a pre-teen I waited to die (really) for over a year thinking I had cirrhosis of the liver because (now I know) I was spitting up tonsil stones rather than my diseased liver as I feared. I then spent years in dental braces that worked until my adult years when my teeth retreated to their present shape and I like many women had an uncomfortable experience with a gynecologist in my young adult life.
I've never understood how people could have Munchhausen disorder in which they make themselves sick in order to get to go to the doctor. Who would want to 'get to' go to a doctor?
Yet now I can say I at least know joy in my own personal story related to these things. (Here's where you may call me crazy and that's your call since I'm okay.)
With both of these professionals, I've known intuitively our paths crossed prior and we were meeting in this life to complete or balance some unhealed exchange.
This morning before my appointment, I actually spoke with my orthodontist about this. As I told her, I wanted to honor the fact that I intuitively know I've experienced facial torture and trauma in other times and that our working together now is part of healing those times. She totally gets this which increases my joy exponentially. Likewise I knew the surgeon and I had been connected in prior times as well and that he was in this life integral to my healing not just present but past.
This takes medical care to a whole new level for me which is really quite amazing since I'm a pessimist regarding medical care for reasons like insurance company CEO's making millions and the medical model being more focused on curing illness than preventing illness in the first place.
Knowing this life's history it doesn't make sense that I'd find joy in receiving medical care yet sensing my greater history it makes perfect sense that I'd find great joy in connecting with people who I sense I've been destined to meet.
This to me is the Great Work, when something so filled with trauma whether in a prior life, present life or both becomes an experience of great healing and deep joy. This is the beauty of waking up on Earth.
And oh by the way, about that gynecological experience. I drove to my dentist thinking, 'I want to find a female gynecologist with whom I feel as comfortable as I do with Wendy.'
Why was I surprised when within minutes of sitting in the Wendy's chair her assistant referenced Joy, a gynecologist they both knew and recommended.... and I hadn't said a word.
Imagine the Shift!
-Dawn, The Good News Muse, 22 February 2012
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