Monday, February 1, 2010

In Search of the Goddess

Having embarked on lengthy quests in the snow over the weekend in search of food, jazz and basketball, I intended to give my boots a rest this morning. My intentions quickly shifted upon hearing of the snow goddess up the street and around the corner somewhere between my house and the grocery. Armed with layers of clothing, paper, pen, money, a pocket recorder and excitement, I set forth on an unexpected adventure in search of the Goddess.

I wondered how long my anticipation would last as I clomped and slipped through yesterday's snow now today's slush. I imagined a lengthy pilgrimage along neighborhood streets ultimately not finding the goddess but having an epiphany of sorts something like she was here all along in everything yet I missed her while focused on the goal. You know one of those life is the journey not the destination realizations.

Rather than wander, I walked straight ahead, no side street detours. After a few blocks and a corner turned, there She was between a neighborhood "Go Green" sign and a dragon-like gargoyle, guardians present and past of the Earth.

Quietly and regally She sat, legs crossed, a penetrating yet peaceful expression on her face. A flame of ice, cyrstal-like, rose from her jewel encircled head.

I wanted to meet the creators but snapped instead several photos mindful my quest didn't take long. Rather than creating a drama that could have lasted most of the day, She was nearby, not far away at all. My epiphany didn't result from an arduous ordeal, only the simple yet determined act of deciding to walk, albeit carefully a few blocks away. I only had to engage in the journey.

My return home involved detours, intentional ones allowing time to consider what it meant to go in search of the Goddess. Two things immediately crossed my mind, the first being a photo I had taken days prior in what's unofficially called Dragon Park thanks to the beautiful mosaic dragon created from drawings by area school children. The ones that caught my eye recently were hearts.

I walked home during that quest thinking how the mosaic heart beautifully represented each of our holding pieces of the heart coming together at this time around the world. I walked home today aware once again the dragon, feared and revered, showed up not only in the park but in the yard adjacent to the Goddess. A fire breathing dragon on this wintry day guarded the frozen Goddess.

The other thought hanging around my mind as I journeyed home was that the Goddess (or God, Higher Power, Creator if you prefer) is just as much in search of us as we are in search of her/him.

Arriving home, I felt compelled to google 'the goddess' out of curiosity. There was much to read but what caught my attention were four words near the beginning of the first website: God in feminine form.

This was perfect. This was really what was meant by God is love. God is compassion. God is heart. God is the feminine, here to hold and express love and compassion.

Yet the flame on the Goddess' head was frozen. The Goddess herself was frozen. Yet like the snow outside today She is unthawing. Unfreezing of hearts can be messy especially in a world that's valued outcome over process, logic over feeling and labeling over letting go.

Here I sit, hours after my external quest, continuing to quest internally as to how all of this speaks to me. What I believe for now is that we each have an entity call it whatever you wish that longs for our engagement with our one and only life. If we don't take our individual journey, it will not be taken. What I believe for now is She is here, a strong, fierce, feeling Feminine, inside each of us, female and male alike. She is here. She has been frozen. She is unthawing thanks to the flames of love.

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