Grrrrrr - Imagine Earth if Sisters (and Brothers) Refused to Be Contained

I chose to spend my Labor Day going through files, pitching and tossing the many things onto which I've held. Somewhere midst the piles, I found a folder labeled "My Poetry." In it was a piece related to women growling. Was it an accident that an hour earlier I had been part of a meditation and poetry call, a call I've missed for months now, a call in which growling was referenced?

Yes, as I entered this morning's call, I thought I heard someone refer to growling. I asked just to be sure. I later emailed these faraway but close friends that growling contained the word grow and that maybe we are called as women to "empowered growling."

I then got back to cleaning out files and found the following written at least six years ago, certainly not polished or professional, but I think you'll get the point.

My Mood

(Note to reader: Grrr and Growl are to be read as guttural, really growling sounds)

Grrrrrrr, Guuuuurrrrrr, GGGGGGrrrrooooowwwwllllllll

Some would say I've a bad mood
But I wonder why - why does it have to be labeled 'bad'
When grrrrr is stirring inside?

So I decided one recent morning, not so long ago
To embrace this inner mood
Call it what you may
My morning meditation's food
had seemed to come, to stay.

Candles lit, legs crossed on the sofa
covered in roses, floral and pink
I invited the mood to show herself
to hear what she feels and thinks.

First came the "Umph, you're not ready. Not ready to listen to me."
I sat determined, scowling, "Just you wait and see."

I growled and grumbled,
uttering sounds that didn't make sense.
Then it came tumbling out
Church fathers might say "Repent."

It wasn't that exciting or filled with great suspense
But between the grrr's and the growls, out came a sentence that made sense.

I'm not ready to be nice.
I'm quite tired of nice, in fact.
For just a few moments in my life,
I'd rather not have tact.

Tell me to smile or cheer up
I may throw up instead.
Sometimes a woman just needs
to let go of all in her head.

Now wait! Don't forget the throat and the guts
She needs to stomp, to howl.
Embrace her inner Kali
Lick her chops
Re-member power.

I'm not ready to be nice.
I won't be intentionally rude.
But I can promise one thing.
I'm gonna listen to my moods.

Our moods - they're labeled bad
When they're really not bad at all.
A signal something's off or amiss
A sign I'm not listening in some sense.

We're taught to be true to others and often put self last
But just imagine the world if we turned it, girls, upside down on it's ass.

Ooooppps there I go
It slipped out, a word un-nice

But imagine the Earth if Sisters joined in sweet refrain
And purged our moods, our tears, our fears, bellowing our pain.

Imagine Earth if Sisters refused to be contained.

At times I sit and ponder if some of the un-nice in the world
is sourced in our shadows, tucked away there when just girls.

How many times have we been told, "Smile. Be good. Say please."
When what we need most right now is to get up off our knees.

To take our place
Step into our power and not become like men.
Maybe this is how we all ultimately can win.

The planet desperately needs us, awake, aware, alive
Not sleepwalking, numb and listless, to our power anesthetized.

Of course, I am not saying
We don't need to be more nice
The world needs genuine, loving-kindness
But our un-nice, we must not hide.

I lick my chops
No grrr comes out
Now that wasn't so, so bad.
I thank my Mood, she's part of me
Without her I'd go mad.

..............................................................................

Now that I've found this piece, I suspect I will ponder it further. For now, may we as women and men everywhere become conscious of our inner Grrrr and not take it out on our partners, spouses, children, friends, pets or the stranger in the car who doesn't use his/her turn signal, but instead invite it (the Grrr) to sit and stay, to speak its truth so our shadows may be owned and not projected on to those who are different from us politically, economically, racially, religiously and sexually.

-Dawn, The Good News Muse, 5 September 2011

....who also just learned thanks to Cayelin Castell's Celestial Timings that today's a good day for cleaning out one's files and organizing. So back to the files.