I had just that morning in my quiet time experienced something similar as thoughts running through my head prompted me to second guess myself. I opened a copy of a new yet old book "Original Blessing" by Matthew Fox. First published in 1983 this book was a catalyst for Mr. Fox, a Dominican priest, being asked to leave the Catholic church.
Perusing the pages of the book, I felt such a resonance with this man whose name I had heard more recently in my journey but whose works I had never read. This book made me think about why I am so slow to share what I know and in my hesitancy how I participate in dismissing my personal truths.
My knowings come through experience, through what I see or hear rather than through scientific proof. For me experience is all the proof I need yet I live in a society where science dominates and where science and spirituality have been separated from one another for hundreds of years.
This woman's response touched a nerve for I too have feared being called a 'nut' especially as I write about the visions I see and things I hear.
At times this fear rises with simple things like trusting my body. Earlier this week I was leaving a doctor's office after having stitches taken out from an area where a benign lump was removed days prior. In place of the stitches the nurse added some surgical glue. I do not have allergies but I am extremely sensitive. I shared this with the staff then I agreed against my intuition to have a small amount of glue placed in the healing cut.
In the midst of a conversation ten minutes later, I felt a strange sensation in my lymph nodes just above the shoulder wound. I couldn't fully listen to my friend because mentally I was debating trying to remove the glue once I got home versus having the doctor's office do this. I feared I would be judged, not believed or considered..........a nut.
I got to choose whether I would abandon my body's literal signal out of fear of being judged or take a risk and take care of myself. Fortunately I was true to me regardless of what my doctor thought. Within moments of having the glue removed the sensations ceased. This seemingly simple decision for me was huge as it lessened my fear and increased my sense of self trust, connection and freedom.
As I pondered this an epiphany was birthed. I suddenly realized I am glad to be called a nut. It is a great compliment to be called a nut for the mighty oak, walnut and hickory trees hovering over me come from nuts.
Now I suspect how we came to connect criticism and derogatory labeling with much in nature relates to the disconnect between science and spirit. (Think about it wolves, pigs, foxes, mules, weeds take all kinds of projected abuse when humans are the ones who are loners, lazy, sly, stubborn and invasive.)
Today I imagine the shift in people embracing the profound beauty of being a nut. To become the great trees, nuts lie in dark earth, not seeing the light of day, until it is time to risk pushing toward warmth not knowing what will be next or how things will be. Can you imagine dear Earth devoid of trees? I don't want to imagine Earth devoid of our presence nor the trees.
We are grown for these times and it is time for all of us who have allowed ourselves to be held hostage by the fear of being called names to emerge from the dark and grow like the trees, to not fear what some call 'dark times' but heed the wisdom and realize the potency we hold inside.
Imagine the Shift of embracing who you were born to be for these Times.
-Dawn! The Good News Muse, 18 October 2012