Monday, September 13, 2010

The Butterfly

Saturday riding down the street, I noticed wings flapping on the center line. I nearly called out "Stop" so I could retrieve the butterfly, but we were in traffic. I didn't want to be the cause of a wreck.

I've been especially mindful of butterflies this summer as they've congregated in our yard and as they've simultaneously careened into my windshield. This was the first time I had seen one literally lying in the street.

The next day on my walk I came across another. This one very much alive seeming to enjoy flitting from gravel to gray gravel on the old paved road. I considered intervening as if I could coax a butterfly to stay out of the street. I thought of the quote posted on a bench at Radnor Lake, Nashville's Walden. The quote by Tagore reads: "The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."

Moments. That is all we have and when I am present and accounted for that for me is enough. When I am struggling, not feeling my best or centered and at peace I want to scream, "No, I'll save up my moments for when I feel better, when I'm back to being my 'old' self."

Unlike the butterfly, I am resisting, not resting when my body says I should.

After my walk, I went to get a pizza. Usually Jerry does this, but this day he happened to be planting butterfly bushes around our chimnea, the little outdoor fireplace we named Venus for the beautiful star and the goddess of love and beauty.

I pulled into the parking lot, walked to the front of my car and there lay a butterfly, black, blue and gold wings intact but very dead. Inside and probably out, I smiled. I placed it in the car and got my pizza.

Last night at sunset, we buried this dear animal under one of the new butterfly bushes.

Life when I am paying attention, even when I am not feeling what I call myself, presents these amazing moments, gifts and as with the butterfly so it is with me. These moments they are enough. Oh these moments they are more than enough!
-Dawn!The Good News Muse, 13 Sept. 2010

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